I've yet to see ONE Lime Scooter rider who shows even the slightest hint of being afraid. They all -- ALL -- seem arrogantly blithe as they swoop around in and out of traffic etc.
I think true racism is actually deeper than biological tendencies to fear the other. I’d need to think more about that but my instinct is it’s more complex. You put your finger on something that I believe goes even deeper than cattiness. The chaos we are seeing in society right now is largely due to women taking the reigns of power and the outcomes of that. Just as we need guardrails for excesses of male power, female tendencies to rely more heavily on feelings versus hard data are catastrophic in some arenas. For instance harm reduction and safe supply for homeless drug addicts. Our empathy and kindness in this instance is leading us astray and killing people and ruining communities. Where the cattiness comes in, is the censoring and canceling of anyone who questions the official narrative. Out-grouping is the single most powerful weapon women wield and it’s a wrecking ball on society right now AND we are allowing it. Time to stand firm in your convictions.
The biological tendency is to notice when certain groups look different and patterns about their behavior, culture, etc. True racism is building a worldview that categorically views certain groups negatively and behaving on it.
The Liberal principle that all are created equal and deserve a chance to succeed is the antidote to that. That’s why this turn away from Liberalism toward identitarian and revenge based politics is so troubling. It’s regressive.
Women can hold both men and each other accountable when they undermine women. I do agree that there's been a lack of self-accountability, as the more visible and objectionable elements of the patriarchy have been dismantled.
But blaming any of it on feminism is stupid. Feminism is the belief that women deserve equal respect and consideration, period. Those who use an exercise in self-reflection by women as an excuse to bash feminism are telling on themselves.
Thank you for your big rebut, Hazel. It doesn't appear that you actually read the post - maybe just the comments? I was questioning whether women undermining one another was an evolutionary trait that we can work to self-correct. What I did not do was blame it on feminism.
"feminism has failed us or we have failed it. The biggest proponents of feminism and the concept of sisterhood that I know have also consistently been the first to turn on one another".
So your big rebut to me implying that you blamed "any of it" on feminism is to......drumroll........claim I didn't read the post. Hmmm.
Ooh - ya got me. Just kidding. I'm saying that we can do it better. Do you have any constructive comments on my main idea or are you just here to call out and score points?
I'm here to inspire you through ridicule, of course :-) To motivate a different approach to encouraging women to take more responsibility for their own disempowerment than "I think women are the problem". I share your frustration and I've wished to yell that at them sooooo many times. Like with my young daughter, for example, and my strong, smart, educated, feminist, accomplished female friends who without fail will make a remark about her appearance when we run into them. LISTEN TO YOURSELVES I want to shriek. YOU DON'T DO THAT WITH LITTLE BOYS DO YOU. YOU ARE CREATING THE MALE GAZE IN GIRLS' MINDS RIGHT NOW.
It's tempting, but "Women are the problem" brings all the misogynists out from under their rocks. Is that who you want for a reader base? If so, you are going about it just the right way.
"Men do a lot to keep women down, and so do women. Let's focus on reminding women how powerful they are" is what I'm after. Need a catchier version though. "Lean In - And Knee Him In The Balls"? "Feeling Badass? MeToo!"?
Thank you, Hazel. This is very well taken. I hear you on reminding ourselves and each other of our power. I've said the exact same thing: rather than #MeToo how about #kickhiminthenuts or #pointandlaughwhenhepullshispantsdown. But that's way too long a hashtag.
I believe that we can, and should, have open and honest and interesting conversations without worrying that misogynists will turn our words against us. Who cares? I don't want to live life hunkered down in a trench with my ears perked up for any insult against womankind.
I have somehow managed to make it to the ripe age of 56 without ever having been kept down by the man- or any man.
"Just as many of us have worked so hard over these last tumultuous years to analyze our internal, deeply held beliefs about others, identify this fear of ‘the other’ as racism, and then work to correct this evolutionary dungeon, we need the same sort of reckoning amongst women. "
Of course excessive fear (and then hostility towards) the Other is a bad thing, but your use of that idea seems oblivious to how it has been weaponized by Leftists for decades such that the reasonable instincts it embodies tend to be suppressed by White Guilt and Shame.
Later in your essay you expand on this and go to town with it:
"Globalism and the tenets of basic fucking kindness have instructed us that fearing others and outsiders is no longer a tool for survival but a tool for tools and small-minded assholes. Having recognized and named this vestigial trait as ‘racism,’ we can better understand why it exists, how it is obsolete for day-to-day survival, and how we can evolve beyond this animalistic urge by recognizing it, naming it, and rejecting it in modern society."
Many years ago, I analyzed in detail one of the classic sources of modern Leftism -- which mostly I called "PC MC" (Politically Correct Multi-Culturalism) -- Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592). That idea of "the Other" is central to the whole analysis and I try to show how Montaigne started the twisting of that term into what would later become a perfect weapon for subversives (Communists and their Useful Idiots, the Leftists).
Thank you, sincerely, for expanding on your comment. I understand now where you're coming from. And thank you for sharing your blog post. Holy wow, it's long so it will take me a bit to digest. I appreciate your perspective and taking the time to share it.
Yeah it's a long and incredibly detailed analysis, but I wanted to nail down all the nuances once and for all -- there are so many "yoga pretzel" twists to the Leftist incoherence on this issue, so it took me a while! Thanks.
This is so freaking good -- not only did I nod along with every sentence, but I applaud your saying something out loud that a lot of women don't want to hear. Usually I nod along with sentences about gender woo, which is what I write about, but those arguments are not very controversial in thinking-people spaces like this. I can't believe this is your rookie post! It's brilliant. More, please!
Do you mean monogynous or mongamous? Monogyny among animals means that while the male honeybee (or spider, or ant, for example) will limit himself to a single mate, females are free to mate with many different males. This is the difference between monogyny and monogamy, in which both male and female sticks to one mate.
I find your emphasis on polygyny odd. Isn’t that the situation that is being recreated in the modern sexual marketplace where women are given the final say and power to choose?
Aren’t “high value men” sleeping with any woman they stumble upon, while “low value men” are left to become incels in droves?
Obviously, an exaggeration, but that’s the basic narrative I thought we were going with.
Polygyny is the structure in which one man has many partners (wives) vs. Polygamy, which is a more general term for a male OR female who takes many partners. I focus on Polygyny because that is the societal structure that was most prevalent throughout human history. I think you are referring to polyamory - males and females partnering with multiple males or females.
No, I’m referring to polygyny. There’s a narrative that online dating has lead to a situation where women all seek the same “high value males” leading to those males getting lots of action while hoards of low value males are left to their own devices, with no way to follow a normal life path.
Obviously, these men aren’t taking multiple wives, rather, women are choosing not to pair up at all and remain single rather than pair with a low value male. This, allegedly, is all very good and feminist. Women no longer need a man so they don’t take one.
Your framing of polygyny clashes with that narrative a bit, but that narrative is probably more niche than I realize.
Thank you for expanding on this. I see your point. I was mostly framing the conversation around evolutionary traits developed over many thousands of centuries, rather than the blip of time in recent history.
I don't think this is quite right: "women are choosing not to pair up at all and remain single rather than pair with a low value male". I believe these women would like very much to pair up with a high value male and are holding out for that. It's not they don't "need a man". If they want to have children they sure do, and they know it.
I don’t see how what you said is different than what I said. They would rather pair up with a high value male, but there are only so many guys who are 6ft and making 6 figures. Rather than settle for a “low value male” they remain single.
Well, feminism has certainly shot itself on both feet. With many men walking away (MGTOW) in droves, because of female entitlement, it really is long overdue for #stunning&brave modern women to pull up their socks (after getting both bullets removed).
Oh look, someone else using the excuse of women's open internal critiques to bash feminism. Feminism, the notion that women are entitled to equal respect and consideration, is a threat to people like these.
"People who say misogynist things" like ^^^this one love to try to scare women into not standing up for themselves. "The men will walk away if you expect them to treat you with respect!!", they say. Just disgusting.
Women are incredible, amazing and wise creators and sustainers of the human race, and always have been, while the men have been off playing hold-my-spear/hold-my-beer whilst I do something Very Impressive.
I look forward to the time that men and their pick-me women have fully accepted that women and men are coequal partners and do best working together in harmony and mutual respect.
Edited accordingly, thanks! I definitely would not want to engage in name-calling in the Comments on a post that says "I think women are the problem." Because that would not be respectful.
Hi Hazel, I've peeked at some of your posts and I feel like we could have a great conversation here. There's really no need to be adversarial. I'm genuinely interested to know what people think of this idea and I highly value dialogue when it's not of the Twitter variety where everyone feels like they have to get the zinger in. You're welcome to participate in good faith and leave snark and combativeness to X or whatever the hell it is these days.
"risking life and limb on a Lime Scooter"
I've yet to see ONE Lime Scooter rider who shows even the slightest hint of being afraid. They all -- ALL -- seem arrogantly blithe as they swoop around in and out of traffic etc.
I think true racism is actually deeper than biological tendencies to fear the other. I’d need to think more about that but my instinct is it’s more complex. You put your finger on something that I believe goes even deeper than cattiness. The chaos we are seeing in society right now is largely due to women taking the reigns of power and the outcomes of that. Just as we need guardrails for excesses of male power, female tendencies to rely more heavily on feelings versus hard data are catastrophic in some arenas. For instance harm reduction and safe supply for homeless drug addicts. Our empathy and kindness in this instance is leading us astray and killing people and ruining communities. Where the cattiness comes in, is the censoring and canceling of anyone who questions the official narrative. Out-grouping is the single most powerful weapon women wield and it’s a wrecking ball on society right now AND we are allowing it. Time to stand firm in your convictions.
The biological tendency is to notice when certain groups look different and patterns about their behavior, culture, etc. True racism is building a worldview that categorically views certain groups negatively and behaving on it.
The Liberal principle that all are created equal and deserve a chance to succeed is the antidote to that. That’s why this turn away from Liberalism toward identitarian and revenge based politics is so troubling. It’s regressive.
Women can hold both men and each other accountable when they undermine women. I do agree that there's been a lack of self-accountability, as the more visible and objectionable elements of the patriarchy have been dismantled.
But blaming any of it on feminism is stupid. Feminism is the belief that women deserve equal respect and consideration, period. Those who use an exercise in self-reflection by women as an excuse to bash feminism are telling on themselves.
Thank you for your big rebut, Hazel. It doesn't appear that you actually read the post - maybe just the comments? I was questioning whether women undermining one another was an evolutionary trait that we can work to self-correct. What I did not do was blame it on feminism.
"feminism has failed us or we have failed it. The biggest proponents of feminism and the concept of sisterhood that I know have also consistently been the first to turn on one another".
So your big rebut to me implying that you blamed "any of it" on feminism is to......drumroll........claim I didn't read the post. Hmmm.
Ooh - ya got me. Just kidding. I'm saying that we can do it better. Do you have any constructive comments on my main idea or are you just here to call out and score points?
I'm here to inspire you through ridicule, of course :-) To motivate a different approach to encouraging women to take more responsibility for their own disempowerment than "I think women are the problem". I share your frustration and I've wished to yell that at them sooooo many times. Like with my young daughter, for example, and my strong, smart, educated, feminist, accomplished female friends who without fail will make a remark about her appearance when we run into them. LISTEN TO YOURSELVES I want to shriek. YOU DON'T DO THAT WITH LITTLE BOYS DO YOU. YOU ARE CREATING THE MALE GAZE IN GIRLS' MINDS RIGHT NOW.
It's tempting, but "Women are the problem" brings all the misogynists out from under their rocks. Is that who you want for a reader base? If so, you are going about it just the right way.
"Men do a lot to keep women down, and so do women. Let's focus on reminding women how powerful they are" is what I'm after. Need a catchier version though. "Lean In - And Knee Him In The Balls"? "Feeling Badass? MeToo!"?
Thank you, Hazel. This is very well taken. I hear you on reminding ourselves and each other of our power. I've said the exact same thing: rather than #MeToo how about #kickhiminthenuts or #pointandlaughwhenhepullshispantsdown. But that's way too long a hashtag.
Hee hee :-)
I believe that we can, and should, have open and honest and interesting conversations without worrying that misogynists will turn our words against us. Who cares? I don't want to live life hunkered down in a trench with my ears perked up for any insult against womankind.
I have somehow managed to make it to the ripe age of 56 without ever having been kept down by the man- or any man.
It started out strong(ly), but began to lose me in the indulgence in the Mainstream Narrative about "racism".
Thank you for your big rebut. Please say more about this, if you don't mind.
The first sign in your essay came here --
"Just as many of us have worked so hard over these last tumultuous years to analyze our internal, deeply held beliefs about others, identify this fear of ‘the other’ as racism, and then work to correct this evolutionary dungeon, we need the same sort of reckoning amongst women. "
Of course excessive fear (and then hostility towards) the Other is a bad thing, but your use of that idea seems oblivious to how it has been weaponized by Leftists for decades such that the reasonable instincts it embodies tend to be suppressed by White Guilt and Shame.
Later in your essay you expand on this and go to town with it:
"Globalism and the tenets of basic fucking kindness have instructed us that fearing others and outsiders is no longer a tool for survival but a tool for tools and small-minded assholes. Having recognized and named this vestigial trait as ‘racism,’ we can better understand why it exists, how it is obsolete for day-to-day survival, and how we can evolve beyond this animalistic urge by recognizing it, naming it, and rejecting it in modern society."
Many years ago, I analyzed in detail one of the classic sources of modern Leftism -- which mostly I called "PC MC" (Politically Correct Multi-Culturalism) -- Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592). That idea of "the Other" is central to the whole analysis and I try to show how Montaigne started the twisting of that term into what would later become a perfect weapon for subversives (Communists and their Useful Idiots, the Leftists).
https://hesperado.blogspot.com/2009/02/montaigne-godfather-of-pc-mc.html
Thank you, sincerely, for expanding on your comment. I understand now where you're coming from. And thank you for sharing your blog post. Holy wow, it's long so it will take me a bit to digest. I appreciate your perspective and taking the time to share it.
Yeah it's a long and incredibly detailed analysis, but I wanted to nail down all the nuances once and for all -- there are so many "yoga pretzel" twists to the Leftist incoherence on this issue, so it took me a while! Thanks.
People are individuals, each one unique, and therefore precious.
Seems like we forget that and focus instead on who is in what groupings.
My two cents: Cherish the people around you for the special and remarkable creatures they are. All the rest is just details.
This is so freaking good -- not only did I nod along with every sentence, but I applaud your saying something out loud that a lot of women don't want to hear. Usually I nod along with sentences about gender woo, which is what I write about, but those arguments are not very controversial in thinking-people spaces like this. I can't believe this is your rookie post! It's brilliant. More, please!
Do you mean monogynous or mongamous? Monogyny among animals means that while the male honeybee (or spider, or ant, for example) will limit himself to a single mate, females are free to mate with many different males. This is the difference between monogyny and monogamy, in which both male and female sticks to one mate.
I mean Monogamous - one partner at a time as opposed to polygynous - one male with several female partners.
I find your emphasis on polygyny odd. Isn’t that the situation that is being recreated in the modern sexual marketplace where women are given the final say and power to choose?
Aren’t “high value men” sleeping with any woman they stumble upon, while “low value men” are left to become incels in droves?
Obviously, an exaggeration, but that’s the basic narrative I thought we were going with.
Polygyny is the structure in which one man has many partners (wives) vs. Polygamy, which is a more general term for a male OR female who takes many partners. I focus on Polygyny because that is the societal structure that was most prevalent throughout human history. I think you are referring to polyamory - males and females partnering with multiple males or females.
No, I’m referring to polygyny. There’s a narrative that online dating has lead to a situation where women all seek the same “high value males” leading to those males getting lots of action while hoards of low value males are left to their own devices, with no way to follow a normal life path.
Obviously, these men aren’t taking multiple wives, rather, women are choosing not to pair up at all and remain single rather than pair with a low value male. This, allegedly, is all very good and feminist. Women no longer need a man so they don’t take one.
Your framing of polygyny clashes with that narrative a bit, but that narrative is probably more niche than I realize.
Thank you for expanding on this. I see your point. I was mostly framing the conversation around evolutionary traits developed over many thousands of centuries, rather than the blip of time in recent history.
Just read this piece and thought of our convo.
https://open.substack.com/pub/bariweiss/p/young-men-who-dropped-out-of-dating-pool?r=7y4vw&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Yes, thank you. I've been following this as well. Thank God for Johnny Cash and Bari Weiss.
I don't think this is quite right: "women are choosing not to pair up at all and remain single rather than pair with a low value male". I believe these women would like very much to pair up with a high value male and are holding out for that. It's not they don't "need a man". If they want to have children they sure do, and they know it.
I don’t see how what you said is different than what I said. They would rather pair up with a high value male, but there are only so many guys who are 6ft and making 6 figures. Rather than settle for a “low value male” they remain single.
Well, feminism has certainly shot itself on both feet. With many men walking away (MGTOW) in droves, because of female entitlement, it really is long overdue for #stunning&brave modern women to pull up their socks (after getting both bullets removed).
Oh look, someone else using the excuse of women's open internal critiques to bash feminism. Feminism, the notion that women are entitled to equal respect and consideration, is a threat to people like these.
I don't hate women, Hazel. Sorry to disappoint you.
"People who say misogynist things" like ^^^this one love to try to scare women into not standing up for themselves. "The men will walk away if you expect them to treat you with respect!!", they say. Just disgusting.
Women are incredible, amazing and wise creators and sustainers of the human race, and always have been, while the men have been off playing hold-my-spear/hold-my-beer whilst I do something Very Impressive.
I look forward to the time that men and their pick-me women have fully accepted that women and men are coequal partners and do best working together in harmony and mutual respect.
Name-calling is not welcome here. Feel free to make your points in a respectful manner.
Edited accordingly, thanks! I definitely would not want to engage in name-calling in the Comments on a post that says "I think women are the problem." Because that would not be respectful.
Hi Hazel, I've peeked at some of your posts and I feel like we could have a great conversation here. There's really no need to be adversarial. I'm genuinely interested to know what people think of this idea and I highly value dialogue when it's not of the Twitter variety where everyone feels like they have to get the zinger in. You're welcome to participate in good faith and leave snark and combativeness to X or whatever the hell it is these days.
Great stuff!